my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
