why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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