bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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