Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
