So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
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