Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
