you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
