ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
