My first STD was from a foam party
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize