Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
