atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize
