We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
