I wish life had little blips of pornography
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
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