I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
