that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
