we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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