I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
This is classic penis vs brain.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
