my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
