C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Randomize
