I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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