Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
