Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
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