We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
