i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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