I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
where are my eyebrows?
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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