watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
