Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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