Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
