Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
