Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
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