They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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