your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize
