Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Randomize