I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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