Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Randomize
