Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
