I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
