so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Randomize
