You can't motorboat a personality
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
