Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
