I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Found your dick twin last night
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
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