she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Randomize
