We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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