Do you still have your period?
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
He? As in you personified your dick?
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Randomize
