We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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