in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
