Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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