Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
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