it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
i wish my penis had a tongue
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize