I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
