Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
