Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Randomize
