He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Randomize
