Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
