This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
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