Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
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