you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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