New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
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