At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
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