I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
