hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Randomize
