im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize