i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Randomize
